This year marks one of those times in life that is truly hard to put into words. In some ways it has been wonderful. I have been blessed with some of the most amazing friends that walk the face of this earth (no kidding). Every time I ponder it, I am blown away at the realization. These are people who are real. They love hard, have lots of fun, give unselfishly, and most importantly are head over heals for their Savior. How I rated friends like that I will never know. The crazy thing is that there even lots of them. There have been times in my life that I have pleaded with God for just one or two like them. Boy did He answer that prayer. I am not telling you this to brag but just so you know at the conclusion that there have been some incredibly fabulous things about this year.
For lots of the rest of the story have been hard. There have been so many times that I have wanted to sit down to my keyboard and bang out the details but always I knew I could not. Some were too personal. Some would hurt others. Some would reveal things about others that weren't mine to reveal. And the list goes on. Still details will be left to the imagination. But I felt like I might could safely share some lessons learned.
I remember days when our boys were little. People would say, "these days will pass too quickly" or "it will get easier", etc. Ha! What were they talking about? Yes, it did get easier for a time and there are easier seasons. But all in all, adult children are the hardest of all! Figuring out how to continue to gently guide and disciple young adults is the hardest. They are working to gain their independence and determine who they are themselves. It is so hard watching them hit dead ends but not want any help finding the right path. Heart wrenching pain. Nothing prepared me for this season. Nothing! Without love it would be a breeze but I wouldn't give up loving them for anything.
Secondly, when you put yourself out to love easily then you put yourself out to hurt deeply. Yep. But those who hurt deeply hurt others because they are hurting so much themselves. It is almost like a self destruct pattern. Forgiveness is golden. Vengeance is mine says the Lord (Deuteronomy 32:35). Holding unforgiveness only hurts the one holding the unforgiveness and it will cut right through the bone. Forgive. . .no matter what forgive. Doesn't matter if they ask for forgiveness or even want forgiveness. . .just simply decide to forgive. And truthfully it may take many times determining in your heart that you will forgive to fully do it. The enemy loves to remind us of the pain and heartache.
Health issues are destructive to ones life and it doesn't need to be cancer or anything life threatening to cause havoc. All things answer to God. Everything in creation. He is sovereign!!! But I do feel that many of the health issues are from our lack of ability to lay things at His feet and leave them there. Stress is the stealer of health and all things good if allowed. Stress is not from God but rather the enemy.
People need to feel appreciated and loved. Most anyone will do anything they can for you if they feel appreciated and loved. Even knowing this. . .at time it is nearly impossible aside from God. He can whale up a great love for anyone inside of us when we surrender to Him. But be careful, once the eyes of your heart are opened to this unconditional love there is no going back.
Some days over the past year have seemed so dark. I have felt like hiding away although it is rare that my incredible friends would allow such. They never even know. They are just so in tune with God that they call or message at just the right time (I never want to spread the dark days so I put on a smile). But through it all I have had the most personal intimate God. It could seem so hopeless at times but I would have this pin light of faith shining through. The kind of faith that reminds me that God has this and that He is in control. It reminds me that He loves me more than any kind of love I can comprehend. I have often prayed for this kind of faith because when I have it I feel so close to God and so assured of Him. But I have also realized that it is not the kind of faith that I can have without His empartation of it. I just can't. It is not within me. So my advice, pray that God would increase your faith and keep praying it every day. Recently, I realized something so amazing. That kind of faith brings patience! That is mind blowing for me who has absolutely no patience of any sort. But God. . .